“You don’t believe you’re good enough, secretly. That’s what’s really going on here. You don’t believe you have what it takes. You’re an entrepreneur, a founder, a writer, an artist. But you think that you’re the odd one out, with no skills and no chance of getting anywhere” (Jon WestenBerg).
I had a problem with getting to where I wanted to be. I had a problem getting goals accomplished. I didn’t believe I would be able to see the results in reality compared to how I see them in my head.
But having that fear prevents us from trying to accomplish that big goal we actually would be able to achieve, if for once we let ourselves attempt it.
I’ve noticed a few of the reasons why I didn’t believe in myself, and if these problems are parallel to you, this is worth reading.
You Are Scared Of The Results
What you have envisioned in your head may not be the reality of how it actually turns out, and that’s scary.
It’s scary to see something we made not be remotely close to how we saw it in our heads.
If you’re bad at drawing, like me, then you have an actual example of what I’m talking about. I can draw something, but the detail I see in my head will never be there. I can’t accomplish what I want so very often. I won’t try, thus I never get better.
You have to be willing to let yourself change. You have to learn to adapt and let yourself go through the changes if you really do want that end goal.
Eventually you’ll be able to make what you want a reality, but you need to understand that it won’t be exactly how it is in your head and that’s supposed to happen.
If what you had envisioned in your head is easily made and it looks like expected, then everyone would automatically be good at whatever they wanted to do. No one would go through the growth and development to learn how to create their vision and what parts of it need to be changed.
Your avoidance of trying and of seeing what you have in your head compared to what you can actually make will hold you back. You can’t be scared of the learning process and learning that everything you had envisioned isn’t always right and to a high extent, that’s a good thing.
You Are Scared To Start
Whatever goals you see yourself achieving, you want so bad, that you don’t know what to do if you mess up.
You believe that starting off on the wrong foot and in the wrong direction will teach you the opposite of what you set out to do and in turn prevent you from getting to where you ideally wanted to end up.
You don’t know where to start and are afraid learning the truth will give you some other obstacle that you cannot otherwise overcome.
You’re afraid figuring out the hard work that’s there that you hope isn’t there will be something you cannot maintain.
Being scared to start is almost the same as being scared of the results.
You see what you want in your head, but are stubborn to not let that vision change, and in turn, don’t make the leap to see what obstacles may challenge you.
To start is to take the first initial step and will get you that much closer to your goal. Getting started is the hard part, progressing will come as simple as trying again.
Starting won’t lead you in a wrong path. Even if you go in the wrong direction for months, who says that’s not the right way to start something?
Starting off bad is the first step to learning how to be good. You can’t fear learning that you aren’t as good as you had hoped, or else you are further preventing yourself from starting.
You Don’t See Yourself As Highly As You Should See Yourself
You want to be an inspiration, you want to change people’s lives. But what if you can’t do it?
You feel you need some sort of reputation for people to listen to you, to get done what you want to get done. You need practice and you think you can’t start without at least some knowledge.
You think the way to get around or approach this problem is to underestimate yourself and be humble about where you are in your practice. You see being cocky and more presumptuous about what you can actually do, will make people think less of you.
Purposely underestimating yourself to please others won’t please you. You won’t be able to do what you want to do if you believe you have to prove yourself before you can do it.
You should see yourself as highly as you truly do believe your value is at, or else you aren’t achieving at your full potential and are holding back from growth.
The saying fake it till you make it applies because you may not be faking it, but trying to be at the level you want to be at will eventually get you there. You can’t stay a level lower than your potential just because you want to make sure you are capable before you try further yourself.
To be able to grow, we have to move into the unmarked territory. We have to leave what we are comfortable doing and be willing to practice and improve on our uncovered potential.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear” (Nelson Mandela).
You may or may not be aware of these three preventing thoughts. Maybe only a couple of them apply to you. Regardless, bringing ration to why we have or haven’t done something gives us insight on future approaches to future tasks.
I believe everyone today – myself included – are too comfortable in their comfort zone (hence the name) and fear leaving it.
We all have to face the reality that the comfort zone is the nothing zone, the preventing zone. We can’t further our potential if we don’t expose ourselves to learn truly what we can and can’t do, instead of assuming.